Dating is something which is difficult enough on its own; especially when going out with someone for the first time. Besides the normal nervousness, there are countless of other things to think about. After all, the first impression may be what counts the most on your first date. Yet even while knowing all of this, a great deal of people wind up making some serious first date errors. This may not be a problem for those meeting others for simple one-night stands or flings. Yet even casual sex and trysts can often result in much more.
This is why individuals looking for long-term or serious relationships, need to avoid making these blunders. Sadly, most don’t realize that they have made these mistakes until after the date is over. The culprits only become aware of it as they wait for a phone call or text from that person for a second date which never happens.
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Why First Impressions Matter
In reality, finding dates or hooking up in today’s world is much easier than it ever was. That’s all thanks to technology, mobile devices, dating apps and websites. They have made meeting new people a far simpler process. That may make many feel that getting someone they are interested in to go out with them, is the hardest part of dating. However, that is only the beginning since there are numerous other issues to keep in mind. There are some cases where first date mistakes may not result in ruining a relationship for you altogether. In certain circumstances, a person may give you a second chance at another date. But, statistics show that the first date is usually what makes or breaks the relationship.
The truth is that you only get to make a great first impression once. That means first date mistakes can end up ruining your chances with someone forever. Who knows how many people have lost the opportunity to be with a person who could have changed their entire life. That ruined opportunity was due to first date blunders. To ensure that this doesn’t happen to you, there are several things you should be prepared for. In addition, there are many others you should avoid doing altogether.
Treat Your First Date Like It Matters
Anyone who goes on a job interview unprepared will typically not land the employment. The majority of these 21 tips on mistakes to avoid making during your first date, are similar to those for a job interview. If you ignore any of them, chances are you won’t be hired. In a way, you can treat your first date as you would a job interview. It will show the other person that you cared enough about them to make a great impression. When you treat a date like it matters, the person you are going out with will notice.
Be Punctual –
Too many dates have gotten off on the wrong foot due to a person arriving late. Besides making the other person anxious as they wait for you, they may also get upset and annoyed. This also goes against you when it comes to making a good first impression. In addition, your date may take it as a slight since you don’t value him or her enough to be on time. In the event where being late is unavoidable, it is imperative that you either call or text them. Begin by letting them know the problem and apologizing. The moment you do arrive, be sure to tell them once again how badly you feel.
Neglecting Your Appearance –
What would you think about someone you’ve just met who showed up to the date unkempt? While inner beauty is what matters in the long run, it is not what someone will notice about you the first time. Making sure your hair is well done or combed properly is important. Believe it or not, most people draw conclusions about a person within the first ten seconds of meeting them. While someone may end up falling for how you are inward later on, what they see visually at the beginning is crucial.
Dress To Impress –
One of the first things people notice about you when they see you from afar, is what you are wearing. How you dress and what you wear will often matter more than what you may say. If you wear the wrong thing, the other person may not even want to hear you anyway. Avoid wearing something which seems like you don’t care. Some people go on dates like if they are meeting their BBFs. Others often wear something which is too revealing or provocative. That can end up giving off negative signals to your date.
Stress On Hygiene –
Countless of people have lost a chance at a second date or a long-term relationship because of a lack in hygiene. It could be that they neglected to bathe or smelled bad. In some cases, a person reeked of cigarettes or smoke. In others, it was a person’s bad breath. While this may sound like something small, to others, a person with bad breath or bad odor can be nauseating. It can also lead to ruining the other person giving you the opportunity to get to know you better.
Selecting The Right Meeting Place –
The first thing you want to do when you meet someone new is talk and get to know them. But if you pick a place where you can’t do that without a problem, then what else is there? A lot of people often choose a club or a very loud spot as a meeting place. That may be okay for people you already know. Yet it is not an ideal place when you want to have comfortable conversations with another person. Having to constantly keep asking “What did you say?” because the place is too loud, is awkward and annoying. No one wants to get to know a person by having to shout the entire night.
Refrain From Negativity –
Imagine meeting someone for the first time and all they have to say are negative things or complaints. Why would anyone want to deal with that again? No one wants to hear about your problems during the first date. Also, being too negative can send off bad vibes to people. Most of us enjoy being around a person who can lift us up and makes us smile. Not a person who complains excessively.
Stay Away From Excess –
Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. It could be that you are wearing too much perfume or cologne. Perhaps you put on an extreme amount of make-up. There are some people who overuse accessories. Anything in excess can result in having a negative effect. Instead of impressing your date, you overwhelm them. Find the right amount in everything that you use and wear.
Avoid Overusing Your Smartphone –
Going out on a date with a person for the first time is all about attention. They want yours and you want theirs in return. But, if you are constantly checking or using your phone, it can be rude and annoying to the other party. This sends a clear signal that you find whatever its on the phone more interesting than they are. Answering text messages or phone calls should only be done if they are extremely important. Plus, your social media status can wait until you get home or the date is over. Remember, you are here to get to know the other person better.
Keep Your Ex Out Of It –
A common mistake people often make on first dates is talking about their ex. However, this can be a huge turn-off to your date. Especially those that speak about their ex in a negative manner. Telling a person you have just met about an ex is highly inappropriate. The person may feel as if this could be the way you may talk about them in the future to someone else. In addition, speaking about your ex can be misconstrued as if you are still hung-up on them. That’s why it’s important for people to be over their ex before going out on dates.
Bad Table Manners –
If you are going out on a first date to a place to eat, you want to show your good table manners. Some individuals tend to forget this and act as if they are out with their buddies. Avoid speaking with your mouth full and doing things which may seem as crude.
Stay Clear Of Controversial Topics –
A recent poll showed that a vast majority of Americans are choosing their dates based on political views. Too many couples fight about their personal differences. The last thing you want is to enter into a topic that may be a sore spot for the other person. You can end up offending them based on your political preferences or personal views. Steer clear of strong beliefs which tend to be too far right or left wing. There will be time to go over such things as you get to know each other better later on.
Avoid Asking Too Many Questions –
Although wanting to get to know the other person is a good thing, you don’t want to be seen as too intrusive. Some people often ask far too many questions on their first date. You want to make it look like you are interested. But you also don’t want to the other person to feel as if they are in an interview. At the same time, avoid appearing as if you are not engaged or fascinated. That is why it is a good idea to strike a balance. Let them tell you things about themselves in their own way. You can talk about one another trying to keep the amount of questions equal.
Refrain From Foul Language –
Using foul language may be cool when you are with your friends. But, this is not the first impression you want to give to your date. Profanity can be offensive and shows a lack of sophistication on your part. In addition, people typically connect overuse of foul language with lack of intelligence. If you want to appear classy, stay away from foul language.
Don’t Be Rude To Others –
Chances are you are going to run into other individuals on your first date. It could be the service people or a person on the streets as you walk. The last thing you want to do is be rude to anyone. Being impolite to your waitress, waiter or valet is a sure way to turn the other person off. They will look at you as if you are obnoxious and egocentric. Showing kindness is the best way to make others see the best about you.
Drinking Too Much –
Countless of first dates have ended in disaster because one of the two parties got too drunk. Drinking too much can lead to you making a complete fool of yourself. You may end up revealing things about you or others the other person is not ready to hear. Plus, if you are driving, it sends a bad message. Imagine being pulled over for driving while intoxicated? Instead of spending a great night with your new date, you can end up spending the night in jail.
Avoid Being Egocentric –
Some people go on through life thinking it is all about them. That may be okay with those that know you. However, no one wants to go out with someone who appears to be a narcissist. Although its recommended that you talk about yourself, you don’t want to make the entire night about you. Allow the other person to tell you about themselves as well.
Getting Too Familiar Too Soon –
Your date can be going really well and you may be feeling awesome about it. So you might want to start talking to them using terms of endearment. Calling a person honey, sweetie or babe on your first date is not advisable. Additionally, touching your date inappropriately or getting too familiar with them is also a no-no. Unless the feeling is mutual and consensual, don’t violate the familiarity laws too soon.
Inviting Friends On The Date –
No date wants to compete with your attention the first time you meet. Bringing friends along with you or inviting them later can make your date feel this way. You may be tempted to suggest that you meet up with a group of friends as well. That is not advisable since it will take away from getting to know the other person. Keep in mind that the first date, is all about you and them.
Stay Clear Of Self-Effacing –
Being honest about yourself is a great quality a person can learn to appreciate. However, there is no need for you to be too self-effacing at the beginning of your date. Pointing out your flaws at the first date may turn the other person off. You can make a joke about your flaws, but keep it to a minimum. Why would anyone want to see you again when you are telling them all the things that are wrong with you?
Be Sure To Bring Your Wallet –
You may be reluctant to bring your wallet with you if the other person invited you. That’s because it is customary for the person who did the inviting to pay for the meal or date. However, these days people don’t mind sharing the check and being compromising. More importantly, you never know what can happen that may cause you to need to use your own money.
Avoid Personal Topics –
In some first date encounters, people have been known to tell others about their personal problems. It could something about their medical history or intimate issues. Yet this is not the type of information you want to be giving out to a stranger you’ve just met. Keep personal topics off the table until you get to know the person better.
Don’t miss checking out
Besides all of these mistakes to avoid making on your first date, be sure to be yourself. Don’t try to over compensate or pretend to be someone you are not. Be honest and let him or her see the real you. Remember, while you want to make sure you avoid these first date mistakes, you also want be real. It makes no sense in implementing so many changes that ultimately turn you into a completely different person. If that happens, you will end up breaking up with your partner anyway since the real you will be exposed eventually.
Nonetheless, while there are never any guarantees in dating, these tips can help. Any mistakes you avoid making, will only increase your chances for a successful date. Lastly, if the date doesn’t work out as you planned, don’t give up. Sooner or later you are bound to find the right person for you.