The Internet is full of social media sites. There are billions of people using them 24/7. This is why finding unique and new status updates that get attention, has become harder and harder. Finding something original to put on your wall is difficult. Users are always looking for what to post on Facebook to get alot of likes and comments. The same goes for WhatsApp, Twitter or other social media sites.
When we’re good no one remembers… When we are bad, no one forgets.
I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes, but most of all, I’ve learned.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.
LIKE if you take 30 minutes to shower, because you like to stand there, under the hot water, just thinking about life.
It’s scientifically proven that if you drop food on the ground, blow on it before you eat it… that kills all of the germs.
KARMA has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Why does life insists on teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Saw a lady at the store with 5 kids all under the age of nine screaming. BTW, you’re very welcome for that box of condoms I placed in your basket.
Hello! It’s me your ex, remember me? Of course!!!! You never forget your mistakes!
Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
I have no idea why people think I’m too patronizing. That means I treat them as if they’re stupid, just in case.
There are three kinds of people in the world: The ones which make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And the ones who wonder what happened.
That annoying moment when you realize someone else is using the pen you lost.
I don’t have Attention Deficit Disorder. I just really, really don’t give a sh*t about what you’re saying.
The reality is that everyone in life is going to hurt you. But, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain.
If you spend your life waiting for something to happen… in the end, the only thing that happens is life!
Base your hopes on action, not on your dreams.
▕▕╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╲╲ *LIKE* if God is
▕▕╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱┛▂╲╲ in your HEART and HOME!!!!
▕__▔┗┓▔_ ▏▕┗▏ _ ▔_ ▏
Greatest fear in life…. Someone will find a way to retrieve everything I’ve ever Googled.
That fake laugh you do when you don’t understand what somebody just said to you.
If you find it too hard to laugh at yourself, don’t worry. I would be more than happy to do it for you.
Hey baby, wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo ’till I Google all over your Facebook?
There are only two times when I want to be with you. Now, and forever.
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.
GOOD ADVICE: Chill with all the planning. One of the most exciting things about life is not knowing what’s next.
Does liking a sad status update mean I’m sympathetic for them or I like that they are sad?
Life is all about butts, You’re either covering it, Laughing it off, Kicking it, Kissing it, Busting it, Or trying to get a piece of it.
DAILY ROUTINE : ☑ Eat ☑ Sleep ☑ Facebook ☑ YouTube ☑ Twitter ☐ Study.
Dear Heart, Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that’s it.
Someone asked me to make them feel special, so I gave them a helmet and some crayons.
Want to make money on Facebook? It’s easy. Go into your account settings. De-activate your account and then go to work!
A sense of concern for others gives our lives meaning; it is the root of all human happiness.
Always remember, that no matter how useless you think you are, you are still someone’s reason to smile.
Whenever I see fishies in a tank, I feel the need to poke the glass and scare them.
Women like honesty because it helps them rule you out faster.
It appears my back was made for stabbing.
Fighting the urge to put a sarcastic comment on someone else’s status.
This is what people say happens when men and women end their relationships. Do you agree?
LIKE if the last thing you do every night and the first thing you do every morning is check your phone.
I feel like we’ve met before. It must be a case of déjà who.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
I’ve got a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it… bed.
A blonde and Brunette are walking on the road. The brunette says, “Look, a dead bird.” The blonde looks up in the sky and asks, “WHERE, WHERE?”
If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from people who didn’t succeed either.
The fact is that I want to become independent… but my parents wont to move out of the house!
I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered with girls.
I bet crocodiles are pissed off that “crocs” no longer stands for “gigantic vicious reptile,” but now means “ugly waterproof shoe.”
I think my smart phone is broken…. I pressed my home button but I’m still at work.
I was having an awful day at work so I went for a walk to clear my head. The passenger in my Uber was fuming.
If you could kick the ass of the very person responsible for your troubles, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.
Don’t look now, but I’m hiding under your bed. HA, made you look!
If this status was a “scratch N’ sniff” , it’d smell like bacon.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
Dear food commercials, Nobody eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people.
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
No I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship… my girlfriend lives in the future.
I am on an On and off relationship with my light switch.
Cheating is easy… try something more challenging… like being faithful.
You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see. But you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.
Remember, when life pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray.
The greatest thing about Facebook is that you can quote something and totally make up the source. ~ Benjamin Franklin
If you can’t beat them, get someone to have them beaten.
Words can only hurt you if you read them. To win, avoid reading them.
Two things I am thankful for- 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
If your partner tells you they need time…. space….. then give them a clock and a spaceship so they can go to hell!