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    Top Facebook Status

    Cool, Awesome & Funny Status Updates


    Top Facebook Status - Cool, Awesome & Funny Status Updates

    Want to impress your friends with a top facebook status update for your Facebook wall? We have some of the best, funniest, coolest, and wittiest updates here. If you ever wondered where some people come up with their sometimes funny, awesome, eye catching & popular statuses for their Facebook, Hi5 or Twitter then look no further. Tips21 has compiled some of the top facebook status updates guaranteed to get many responses and "Likes" from your friends. It is very hard to come up with a Good or great status day in and day out. Sometimes people just run out of things to write on their Facebook wall. Be sure to check out this article If you want to know who broke the world's record for "Most Likes on a Facebook Status Ever - World Record Likes" Now, without further delay, here are some great ideas for some Facebook statuses you can use.

    ** Note that in the following article there are over 1,000 of the MOST LIKED Facebook Status updates for you to use. Ten total pages of the best statuses.

    Statuses updated with fresh ones added every week


  • For the next two days my idea of a balanced diet will be a beer in each hand.
  • Sometimes I wonder if teachers gossip about students in the break room.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason..
  • “OMG ARE YOU OK!?” ‘Oh yeah I’m fine, I Just like bleeding for fun.’
  • Having only a few friends is a blessing, because otherwise you’d just have a ton of fake ones.
  • Having only a few friends is a blessing, because otherwise you'd just have a ton of fake ones.

  • When you’re stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
  • Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
  • Instead of saying, “I’m going to play devil’s advocate” people should say, “I’m going to be a dick.”
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 92,748 times, you are a weather man.
  • Liking your own Facebook status is like high fiving yourself in public!
  • Neil Patrick Harris & Liking Your Own Facebook Status Funny

  • ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(ˆ◡ˆ)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… GIVE ME ALL YOUR LIKES
  • Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook. 
  • LIKE if you have like 50 t-shirts but you only wear 7 of them and complain that you have no clothes… 
  •  "When all is said and done" It will be really quiet.
  • I'm all Status-ed Out!
  • I'm all Status-ed Out!

  • Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered... " Was I drunk the entire relationship????
  • Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
  • Sometimes when someone angers or upsets me, I look at them through the prongs of a fork and pretend that they're in jail. That always makes me feel better.
  • I’m fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. 
  • That awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still don’t know what they said. 
  • Your ex asking to be friends with you after you broke up is like kidnappers asking to keep in touch after letting you go!
  • Your ex asking to be friends with you after you broke up is like kidnappers asking to keep in touch after letting you go!

  • Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.  
  • IF THIS IS YELLING & this is talking… I woNDeR wHat THis sOUnDs LikE?
  • LIKE if you’ve used the phrase “Get off the phone, I have to use the Internet.”
  • Who else had one of those pens with a million colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once? 
  • Check out how many role model failures this mom commits. Parenting Fail Photos.
  • Happy Mother’s day from all of us at Tips21.com to all the wonderful ‘Moms’ in the world.  Here are some great mother’s days quotes.

  • ¡ʎɐp sɹǝɥʇoɯ ʎddɐɥ
  • Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.
  • If my mom can’t find it, nobody can find it. – She's my super mom!
  • My Mother, my friend so dear,
    throughout my life you're always near.
    A tender smile to guide my way,
    you're the sunshine to light my day.
    Happy Mom's Day! I Love you!
  • My Mother, my friend so dear, - Happy Mother's Day Quotes

  • The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
  • She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning
  • All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my wonderful mother.
  • All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my wonderful mother.

  • Happy Mother’s day to all moms! Thank you to all who’ve gone before us & shown the way!
  • My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh yea??…..Just you wait.”  - Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
  • Naked Weed Smoking Mom Fail - Fail Photos - Fail Pictures

    Naked Weed Smoking Mom Fail - Fail Photos

  • I hate when I’m alone in a dark room and my brain goes, “You know what’s a good movie? Paranormal Activity”
  • That awesome moment when you say something really funny and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss.  
  • You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.
  • When I was young our phones didn’t have internet, they had SNAKE!
  • Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique.
  • Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique.

  • Hey Facebook Friends, what’s the best gym to pretend that you go to?
  • Paperclip: The staple for people with commitment issues.
  • Ⓟⓛⓔⓐⓢⓔ ⓓⓞⓝ’ⓣ ⓑⓤⓡⓢⓣ ⓜⓨ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ
  • Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway. 
  • Top Status Updates for Facebook

  • It’s not the same watching a football game on replay. Now my beer drinking and shouting at the TV has no impact on the score.
  • I like Mario, he’s cool. He’s an Italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican.
  • When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.
  • We all have that ONE person that we always have feelings for no matter what. Just one look, and it takes you right back to that moment.
  • Don't concern yourself with being known, Instead be someone worth knowing!
  • Don't concern yourself with being known, Instead be someone worth knowing!

  • Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever. 
  • If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
  • Facebook is going to start making high school reunions really awkward. “John! I haven’t seen you in ten years! Wow, what have you been up to since that nap you took at 3 o’clock this afternoon?”
  • Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.  
  • After my stomach growls, I clutch my stomach and point at it with a sad face to inform everyone that it was me.
  • A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl!
  • A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl!

  • “Who the f**k is this?!” ~ Me looking at half the people on my FB news feed.
  • I’m searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool… to poke a Hontas.
  • Our neighbor said he wouldn't mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
  • This status will be liked for no reason.
  • Has discovered that when you give people advice through the medium of interpretive dance, they quickly regret asking you for it, and go away.
  • Who says that women don't look great fishing?

    Big Boobes Little Fish - Hot Girls Pics

    Big Boobes Little Fish - Hot Girls Pics

  • I’m not weird, It’s called having a personality.
  • One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent this to his wife: I’m having a wonderful time wish you were her.”
  • I always feel like I just passed my Best If Used By date.
  • There’s a “send” button; there’s a “resend button; WHY ISN’T THERE AN UNSEND BUTTON?
  • FACT: People that say "Winning isn't everything" have never won anything.
  • battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅]
  • Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside Bitch!
  • Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside Bitch!

  • If you live your life according to the way others want you to live it... you will never be happy!
  • Last night I played a blank CD at full blast. The mime next door went Ape sh*t.
  • Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
  • I just can hear them teasing him saying silly rabbit trix are for kids, why couldn't they just give him cereal

  • If your significant other claims they never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to ‘Single’ and wait for 5 minutes. 
  • Only a few more days until those “yo, 2012 is about to be my year” status updates..
  • ☆● ☆● ☆● ☆● Stars & the Moon on a status‼‼ ●☆● ☆● ☆● ☆●
  • People who hate you are just confused admirers. They can’t figure out why everyone loves you.
  • People who hate you are just confused admirers. They can’t figure out why everyone loves you - Pictures With Quotes

  • Oh the noises I make when people aren’t around.
  • Next year I’m buying the kids packs of batteries with notes saying: toys not included.
  • A person may dislike you for 3 reasons: 1. They want to be you. 2. They do not like themselves. 3. They see you as a threat
  • It’s amazing the places I will wander to in my house while I talk on the phone.
  • That awkward moment when someone you really hate sends you a 'Friend' request.
  • That Awkward Moment When Quotes For Facebook Status

    Get hundreds more of "That Awkward Moment When Quotes For Facebook Status" here.

  • used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny...then I realized those were just stripper names.
  • You'll never see me on Hoarders because I can't afford that much s***.
  • Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for the damage. Dear Brain, you were right.
  • In real life, I tell people to shut the hell up. On Facebook, I just delete their comment.
    High on life!!...and also a tiny bit of paint.
  • People who first meet me think I’m quiet. But people who have known me for a long time wish I was.
  • That AWSOME moment when you kill all the pigs with one bird.
  • I am amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.



  • Lots of people complain about their looks. But not nearly enough complain about their brains.
  • You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
  • Can’t believe that Facebook won’t let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
  • Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes.
  • Every day, hour, and minute are so special because you never know if it will be your last. So enjoy every second of it!
  • Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
  • Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • If you miss an opportunity don’t fill the eyes with tears, It will hide another better opportunity in front of you.
  • Every time I see a yellow light I say to myself “challenge accepted.” 
  • Have you ever wanted to comment on someone’s Facebook status, and say ”No One Cares”?
  • 8 year old kids today have Facebook, twitter, phones, iPod. When i was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
  • Some things are best NOT Said on Facebook! LMAO!!!

    Daughter, Dad & Sex on Facebook Fail - Funniest Status Updates

    Daughter, Dad & Sex on Facebook Fail - Funny Facebook Status Updates

  • I’m starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home.
  • Don’t let my bedroom floor fool you. It may appear dirty, but those are actually clean clothes that I haven’t folded in months.  
  • Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.

  • Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
  • Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
  • Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything. 


  • Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
  • I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
  • Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
  • (•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿ ̿”" that’s how I Feel right about now!
  • I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.

  • If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot. 
  • Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
  • If some people insist on acting like an idiot, then I must insist on treating them like one.
  • Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.
  • How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

  • Look at what Photoshop has done to Cameron Diaz.

    Beware of Photoshop Cameron Diaz - Funny Picture

    Beware of Photoshop Cameron Diaz -

  • I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos — I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference.
  • Bad relationships are like speed bumps. They force you to slow down and think about where you’re headed!
  • I want a boyfriend who… Actually, no. I would just like a boyfriend.
  • Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving Facebook emails after the weekend saying, “You have been tagged in a photo.”  
  • I love that moment when you catch someone doing something that they thought no one else saw them do.
  • A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
  • Top Facebook Status - Cool, Awesome & Funny Status Updates

  • Only 3 type of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry.
  • I have problems cleaning my room because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
  • The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
  • I don’t trust my shrink anymore. First, he tells me to speak freely, then he charges me for listening.
  • That awkward moment when you don’t know if you should hold the door for someone or not. 

    That Awkward Moment When Quotes for Facebook Status
  • Get over 100 of the best That Awkward Moment when quotes here
  • Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
  • “Do you do marathons?” Yes, all the time… which shows?
  • YOU my friend, are living proof that Voodoo dolls don't work. Damn it!
  • Thank goodness pets can’t talk, they all know too much.
  • Thinks that if you status says Its complicated then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to single :D
  • My life is like a Lambourghini. It’s going too fast, and it costs too much.

  • What you walk away from determines what you walk in 2.
  • Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall!!
  • Don’t try to keep up with the Jones. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.
  • Disney World Rule: Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by money.
  • The fine print on all insurance policies states; “This policy is void in case of a claim.”

    Check Us Out On Facebook - Tips21.com


  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me again, I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
  • I can’t recall a time when I’ve woke up, looked at the time and was happy about it
  • Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you… But don’t worry, because that’s bad for you too.
  • Birthday: that special day when your loved ones give you a cake they’ve set on fire

  • went to see Pavarotti once, and let me tell you something about this guy, he didn't like it when you joined in.
  • Check out this Cop Trying to test if the Drugs are real.

    !Police Fail Photos - 7 -  Fail Picture - Photo Fail

    That's NOT how you Test Cocaine officer - Police Fail Photos - Fail Picture - Photo Fail

  • Everyone does about ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
  • I see dreads, people. ~ Tourists in Jamaica
  • When I drop my phone, I act like I’ve dropped a new born baby.
  • Dear "sober self": Your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
  • You know you’re fat when you run out of breath eating..
  • Sometimes I meow back at cats..
  • *Looks up definition of love* ….ERROR MESSAGE: Bullshit blocking connection, Please try again later.
  • The only other thing that’s more popular than Facebook’s “Like” button is MySpace’s “Delete Account” button.
  • Don’t you hate it when people just randomly tag u in their Facebook post!?


    Go to ▬▬►► Top Facebook Status - Page


    That rounds the list of Tips21 Top Facebook status - Top Facebook Status updates. Hope you will enjoy them and that your friends will give you many likes when you use one. Be sure to add us on Facebook and Twitter. You may want to check out our Most Liked Facebook Status article as well. Here is a good article to read If you would like some Tips on "How to behave when using Social Media" sites such as Facebbok & Twitter.







    More Top Facebook Status Resources

    Top Facebook Status - Cool, Awesome & Funny Status Updates

    Getitng a Top Facebook Status for your wall means that sometimes you have to use different means to accomplish that. You can combine words with text art, use reverse or upside down text generators and many other resources available to help your status be the next Top Facebook status! Here are some great and very useful links to help you find more statuses or improve the one you may already have in mind using.

    get the best facebook statuses here


    Status is Baddest - Get the Baddest Statuses here

    Most Likes on a Facebook Status Ever - World Record Likes

    Get Facebook Symbols Cool text character codes

    Get the Funniest Facebook Fake & Status Messages Profile status Pictures here

    Copy & paste' Alt Codes, list of alt key codes