Want to impress your friends with a top Facebook status update for your Facebook wall? We have some of the best, funniest, coolest, and wittiest updates here. If you ever wondered where some people come up with their sometimes funny, awesome, eye catching & popular statuses for their Facebook, WhatsApp or Twitter then look no further.
Tips21 has compiled some of the top Facebook status updates guaranteed to get many responses and “Likes” from your friends. It is very hard to come up with a Good or great status day in and day out. Sometimes people just run out of things to write on their Facebook wall. Be sure to check out this article If you want to know who broke the world’s record for “Most Likes on a Facebook Status Ever – World Record Likes” Now, without further delay, here are some great ideas for some Facebook statuses you can use.
** Note that in the following article there are over 1,000 of the MOST LIKED Facebook Status updates for you to use. Six total pages of the best statuses updated weekly.
If you don’t know someone: you Facebook them. If you don’t know something: you Google it. If can’t find something: you call MOM!
Cool, Awesome & Funny Status Updates
Lecturing to my kids about the dangers of alcohol would be a lot more effective if they didn’t have access to my Facebook pictures.
A teen’s brain is 80% song lyrics.
̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(ˆ◡ˆ)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… GIVE ME ALL YOUR LIKES
A morning text does not only mean, “Good Morning” It has a silent, loving message that says.. “I think of you when I wake up”.
LIKE if your parents think your friends are a bad influence, but honestly, you are usually the one that comes up with the ideas.
“Oooooh this shirt looks good!” *Checks price tag* “Never mind…”
For the next two days my idea of a balanced diet will be a beer in each hand.
Ⓟⓛⓔⓐⓢⓔ ⓓⓞⓝ’ⓣ ⓑⓤⓡⓢⓣ ⓜⓨ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ
Sometimes I wonder if teachers gossip about students in the break room.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason.
Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes!
“OMG ARE YOU OK!?” ‘Oh yeah I’m fine, I Just like bleeding for fun.’
Battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅]
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Instead of saying, “I’m going to play devil’s advocate” people should say, “I’m going to be a dick.”
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 92,748 times, you are a weather man.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
LIKE if you have like 50 t-shirts but you only wear 7 of them and complain that you have no clothes.
“When all is said and done” It will be really quiet.
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered… ” Was I drunk the entire relationship????
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
Don’t concern yourself with being known. Instead, be someone worth knowing!
Sometimes when someone angers or upsets me, I look at them through the prongs of a fork and pretend that they’re in jail. That always makes me feel better.
I’m fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.
IF THIS IS YELLING & this is talking… I woNDeR wHat THis sOUnDs LikE?
(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿ ̿”” that’s how I Feel right about now!
LIKE if you’ve used the phrase “Get off the phone, I have to use the Internet.”
Who else had one of those pens with a million colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once?
Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh yea??…..Just you wait.”
I hate when I’m alone in a dark room and my brain goes, “You know what’s a good movie? Paranormal Activity”
A person doesn’t get tired of loving someone… only of being hurt by them!
That awesome moment when you say something really funny and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.
When I was young our phones didn’t have internet, they had SNAKE!
Hey Facebook Friends, what’s the best gym to pretend that you go to?
Paperclip: The staple for people with commitment issues.
Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway.
It’s not the same watching a football game on replay. Now my beer drinking and shouting at the TV has no impact on the score.
I like Mario, he’s cool. He’s an Italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican.
When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.
We all have that ONE person that we always have feelings for no matter what. Just one look, and it takes you right back to that moment.
Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique.
Getting a Top Facebook Status for your wall means that sometimes you have to use different means to accomplish that. You can combine words with text art, use reverse or upside down text generators. There are also many other resources available to help your status be a guaranteed Facebook status to get likes! Here are more great, funny and very interesting Facebook statuses to help you get comments and likes.
☆● ☆● ☆● ☆● Stars & the Moon on a status‼‼ ●☆● ☆● ☆● ☆●
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
Facebook is going to start making high school reunions really awkward. “John! I haven’t seen you in ten years! Wow, what have you been up to since that nap you took at 3 o’clock this afternoon?”
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
After my stomach growls, I clutch my stomach and point at it with a sad face to inform everyone that it was me.
“Who the f**k is this?!” ~ Me looking at half the people on my FB news feed.
I’m searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool… to poke a Hontas.
Our neighbor said he wouldn’t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
This status will be liked for no reason.
If their ex is still calling, it’s because they’re still getting an answer.
Has discovered that when you give people advice through the medium of interpretive dance, they quickly regret asking you for it, and go away.
I’m not weird, It’s called having a personality.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life. A Husband sent this to his wife: I’m having a wonderful time wish you were her.”
I always feel like I just passed my Best If Used By date.
There’s a “send” button; there’s a “resend button; WHY ISN’T THERE AN UNSEND BUTTON?
FACT: People that say “Winning isn’t everything” have never won anything.
If you live your life according to the way others want you to live it… you will never be happy!
Last night I played a blank CD at full blast. The mime next door went Ape sh*t.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
I just can hear them teasing him saying silly rabbit trix are for kids, why couldn’t they just give him cereal.
Some people are like clouds; they make the world a brighter day after they go away.
If your significant other claims they never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to ‘Single’ and wait for 5 minutes.
Only a few more days until those “yo, 2012 is about to be my year” status updates.
Oh the noises I make when people aren’t around.
Next year I’m buying the kids packs of batteries with notes saying: toys not included.
A person may dislike you for 3 reasons: 1. They want to be you. 2. They do not like themselves. 3. They see you as a threat
It’s amazing the places I will wander to in my house while I talk on the phone.
Used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny…then I realized those were just stripper names.
You’ll never see me on Hoarders because I can’t afford that much s***.
Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for the damage. Dear Brain, you were right.
In real life, I tell people to shut the hell up. On Facebook, I just delete their comment.
In case plan A fails remember there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
High on life!!…and also a tiny bit of paint.
People who first meet me think I’m quiet. But people who have known me for a long time wish I was.
That AWESOME moment when you kill all the pigs with one bird.
I am amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
Lots of people complain about their looks. But not nearly enough complain about their brains.
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
Can’t believe that Facebook won’t let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
If you miss an opportunity don’t fill the eyes with tears, It will hide another better opportunity in front of you.
Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes.
Every day, hour, and minute are so special because you never know if it will be your last. So enjoy every second of it!
Sometimes your faith has to be the down payment for your future.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Every time I see a yellow light I say to myself “challenge accepted.”
Have you ever wanted to comment on someone’s Facebook status, and say ”No One Cares”?
8 year old kids today have Facebook, twitter, phones, iPod. When i was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
I’m starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home.
Don’t let my bedroom floor fool you. It may appear dirty, but those are actually clean clothes that I haven’t folded in months.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
If some people insist on acting like an idiot, then I must insist on treating them like one.
Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos — I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference.
I’m hopelessly addicted to placebos — I’d give them up, but it’d make no difference!
I want a boyfriend who… Actually, no. I would just like a boyfriend.
Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving Facebook emails after the weekend saying, “You have been tagged in a photo.”
I love that moment when you catch someone doing something that they thought no one else saw them do.
A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
Only 3 type of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry.
I have problems cleaning my room because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
I don’t trust my shrink anymore. First, he tells me to speak freely, then he charges me for listening.
That awkward moment when you don’t know if you should hold the door for someone or not.
Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
“Do you do marathons?” Yes, all the time… which shows?
You my friend, are living proof that Voodoo dolls don’t work. Damn it!
Disney World Rule: Children under the age of 12 must be accompanied by money.
Thank goodness pets can’t talk, they all know too much.
Thinks that if you status says Its complicated then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to single 😀
My life is like a Lambourghini. It’s going too fast, and it costs too much.
What you walk away from determines what you walk in 2.
Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall!!
Don’t try to keep up with the Jones. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.
The fine print on all insurance policies states; “This policy is void in case of a claim.”
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me again, I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
I can’t recall a time when I’ve woke up, looked at the time and was happy about it
Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you… But don’t worry, because that’s bad for you too.
Birthday: that special day when your loved ones give you a cake they’ve set on fire
Went to see Pavarotti once, and let me tell you something about this guy, he didn’t like it when you joined in.
Everyone does about ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
I see dreads, people. ~ Tourists in Jamaica
When I drop my phone, I act like I’ve dropped a new born baby.
Dear “sober self”: Your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you’re reading this from your own bed instead of someone else’s.
You know you’re fat when you run out of breath eating.
Sometimes I meow back at cats.
*Looks up definition of love* ….ERROR MESSAGE: Bullshit blocking connection, Please try again later.
The only other thing that’s more popular than Facebook’s “Like” button is MySpace’s “Delete Account” button.
Don’t you hate it when people just randomly tag u in their Facebook post!?